Can You Really Be Just "Friends" With An Ex?

It’s a question that comes up all the time—can you or should you remain friends with an ex?

My answer? It depends.

If the breakup was amicable, if there’s mutual respect, and if neither of you is secretly holding onto unresolved feelings, then yes—friendship is absolutely possible.

But let’s be honest. Not all breakups are clean.

And even when they are, maintaining a friendship requires boundaries, communication, and emotional maturity from both sides.

The Reality of Staying Friends with an Ex

Here’s the thing—when two people have shared a deep emotional (and often physical) connection, there’s always some level of residual attraction. That’s just human nature.

But if you’ve already been there, done that, and both of you genuinely feel there’s nothing left to explore, then it can evolve into a stable, meaningful friendship—one built on familiarity rather than romantic tension.

The challenge? Not everyone is wired the same way.

One person might feel completely comfortable being friends, while the other might still be processing feelings. That’s where things get tricky.

What About New Relationships?

This is where most ex-friendships get tested. If you’re still close with an ex, your new partner might feel uneasy—and honestly, that’s understandable.

The key is transparency. If you feel the need to hide your friendship from your current partner, that’s already a red flag.

Instead, ask yourself:

✅ Is this friendship adding value to my life?

✅ Am I keeping it because I genuinely care for them, or because I can’t let go?

✅ Would I be comfortable if the roles were reversed and my partner was still close with their ex?

At the end of the day, every relationship is different, and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But if your friendship with an ex is causing more tension than joy, it might be worth reassessing whether it’s truly worth holding onto.

Final Thoughts

Can exes be friends? Sure.

But should you remain friends with an ex? That depends on the circumstances.

If both of you have moved on, if the connection is purely platonic, and if your new relationships aren’t suffering because of it—then why not?

But if there’s still emotional baggage, lingering feelings, or tension with your new partner… well, sometimes the healthiest choice is to leave the past where it belongs.